Friday, November 30, 2007

Aside

I'll give you a break (until like 5:15 when I get bored and want to post another zoo picture) from the picture of the day, because I just had an interesting (to me) thought:

How long would it take for me to be found in the bathroom if I collapsed and died in the handicapped stall? Assuming my body couldn't be seen from outside the stall (hence the selection of the larger, handicapped venue), I think it takes up to 36 hours, and possibly more if it's a weekend. Maybe until I start to smell, and even then, who knows?

If the stall door is closed, it's occupied, right? And one doesn't typically chat, or check in for a status update with a bathroom buddy. Add to that there are two separate bathrooms in this office (halving the possible number of body-finders, after it's already been cropped down to only the male employees - unless I made a silly mistake in selecting a bathroom, but either way it's one sex only I think).

Add to that no one would really miss me at my desk; they might wonder briefly where I'd gone, but I could have gone home, or out of the office for any number of reasons.

Add this inconvenient delay in discovery to the fact that it would probably be horrifically embarrassing to be found dead with your pants down, and I think I've found the most humiliating way to die.

Which means it's exactly what's going to happen to me.

3 comments:

T-Money said...

ok, so last night I had a dream that I broke into a church to use the bathroom. Coincidence? I think not!

Andy said...

I like to grease up the railings in the handicapped stalls.

Sam said...

t-money: did you soil yourself in real life when you relived yourself in your dream?

andy- do you also like burning for eternity?

I'd like to thank both my readers for chiming in on the comments; makes me feel loved. Not that I need anything more than the intertubez to feel loved, but y'know.