Friday, March 23, 2007

Indian Thriller

Honestly, Michael Jackson would have been well served (and might still be socially and musically relevant) if he'd had a big, bushy, beautiful moustache.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

This is where I work

I think it's important that I share a little bit about where I work. You can form your own opinions. This is an actual email chain from earlier today. The plotter is a big printer, basically. It is manufactured by KIP (a division of Panasonic, I think), so some people give it names. I guess to make it sound like something that would be cuddlier and not so much like something that will suck your clothes in and then spit toner on you. Some people send emails if they're going to print a big job, because it can tie the plotter up for awhile. Some people don't.

Subject: kipster....

I don’t normally do this, because I don’t think anyone really cares but… I’m sending 9 sets of 24 dwgs. Right now.

OK, thanks W. That would take awhile, good to know.

Subject: RE: kipster....

Your right, no one really cares

This is a little funny, I thought of responding this way myself. I don't always like clogging people's email boxes though. Just usually. Oh, and there's a little typo, it's You're, not Your. Yep, I'm THAT guy.

Subject: RE: kipster....

Speak for yourself, I care.
I’m just surprised that Will took the time to put his beer down to write the email.

Hehe. Some good office humor there. Then, things get strange.

Subject: RE: kipster....

"Why? Because if we don't care, we end up like Pierre.

It was Maurice Sendak's Pierre who always said, "I don't care."

"Good morning darling boy," his mother told Pierre, "you are my only joy."

Pierre said "I don't care."

"What would you like to eat?" his mother asked.

"I don't care," said Pierre.

"Some lovely cream of wheat?" his mother asked.

"I don't care."

He kept saying I don't care until his parents just left him there, and he
was visited by the lion.

The lion asked Pierre if he would like to die. Pierre said, "I don't

So, the lion ate Pierre.

Moral of the story: care. "


W. T. F.

Subject: RE: kipster....

I think I’ll go back to NOT clogging up the server with kip plotting alerts. Thanks for your time.

Um, yes, that's probably for the best. Still a little shaken from the previous drivel.

Subject: RE:kipster

It's not clogging up that you have to watch; but, rather, when you get over the top & start back down, make sure you don't fall into the back-up control station or Serena….

This doesn't make any sense, to anyone. Apparently drinking has become an acceptable practice while still at work. If you'll excuse me, a 40 of Bull Ice awaits.

24, Season 6

Let me volunteer, before I go any further, that I'm a big fan of 24. I started watching it during the first season. My college roommate, we'll call him Duck, recommended it. We thought the show would be cancelled halfway through, and that's why the 12th hour was so good - it could have doubled as a finale. Thankfully, it hasn't.

While people will criticize the writing on the show, it has always been fairly well acted, and the last few seasons have had great production - the explosions are top notch. It's addictive, as anyone who has picked up an older season on DVD and then sat through the next 18 eye-glazing hours falling for each episode ending cliffhanger. This week's episode was particularly engrossing to me, especially after a couple of lackluster hours. However, I do have to take exception to the scene with the drone being launched from Shadow Valley. Unless the US military is basing its research primarily on Hot Wheels cars, I don't buy that styrofoam looking miniature as a viable threat to our nation's security. Whatever. I'll tune in next week.


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

High Gravity Standoff

I had the distinct pleasure this weekend of sampling not one, but two fine high gravity lagers courtesy of Dipietro's corner store. I patronize this particular establishment whenever possible, because the staff is 1) hilarious (during the latest encounter, I was regaled with tales of the good old days, when 60 ounce bottles of barley wine cost 80 cents) , 2) accommodating (they've been kind enough to let me in after closing to purchase 40 ounce beverages), and 3) withholds judgment of me and my choices in economical alcohols. Anyway, on to the review.


The moment the can is opened, one is immediately hit with an aroma one can only describe as rancid. After that, the initial taste is as if someone bottled boilermakers of budweiser and popov vodka. After a few of these sips, the taste mellows, or the taster gets buzzed to the point where it matters less what the beer tastes like, and more how quickly one can consume the contents of the can before they warm to the point where the odor kills kittens. Steel Reserve never tastes good, and also leaves the imbiber with a really bad hangover.


This particular beverage is new to my palate. I recently discovered it at Rite Aid and it was love at first sight. To be fair, I drank the Steel Reserve first, so it's not exactly like I had a cleansed palate. Anyhoo, I took my first sip of the Hurricane and was pleasantly surprised not to gag. As I continued, there were hints of what actually seemed to be beer intermixed in the flavoring. It didn't have the overbearing liquor taste like the SR, and was almost ok if I held my nose. I was able to consume the beer in a short enough time that it never had a chance to get warm and give me goose bumps on its last sip.

Winner: The surprise winner turns out to be Hurricane. I always enjoyed its brother, Hurricane lager (in 40 ounce form), and now I'm glad to say the high gravity is just as good. Try and pick up a 12 pack (for $5.99 +tax and deposit) or a 24 oz can ($0.99). Don't try and drink the 12 pack with a friend in one night, you won't be happy with the result. Also, don't mix with indian food because your burps will kill things.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Harold, my child the car, $2 cake

Last weekend, I made a snowman. His name is Harold. He stands about 6 feet tall. He's really nice. Here's a picture:
Harold is on the left. This past week, temperatures have been really cold, so Harold's been happy. This weekend, temperatures are supposed to get to the 40s and there may be rain. Remember Harold fondly. He's already lost an eye, and it's only 11:30 on Saturday morning. Poor cycloptic Harold. Remember that time that I gave you that silly short left arm? We laughed and laughed, and then you told me to get you a full size arm or you'd beat the shit out of me. Ha ha Harold. Here's your real arm.

Maybe it'll be for the best when he's gone.

My car, which I heart. has been a source of some consternation lately. In the last two weeks, it's needed a new thermostat, door handle, vacuum solenoid, and probably rear brakes. Then, yesterday it decided to shit oil all over the road and give me a nasty warning light that translates roughly from German into - "you're fucked". It's sitting in a church parking lot (sorry I haven't prayed lately God, perhaps an automotive miracle and we'll be back on better terms?) waiting for me to get AAA to tow it to a garage. *a single tear rolls down my cheek*

In the future, I'll try and space these out a little better, but I've a lot to say this morning. At the local grocery store, there's a magical shelf near the dairy section, where the lovely Shaw's employees (hi Cookie) place the day old bakery items on clearance. This shelf is where one can purchase a cake for around $2. I can't walk by said section without purchasing a cake if there is one there. It's akin to leaving an orphan staring out the window of an orphanage. Heartless pricks. Anyway, this was the cake I bought on Tuesday. It's funny because it's a cake, but there's the cookie monster (or some reasonable facsimile that doesn't violate copyright law) on it. Ha. see, cause the cookie monster likes cookies, to end up on a cake is funny, see? ha. hmm. Anyway, the blue frosting turned my poop green for like 4 days. No photos of that, sorry.

I don't care for myspace, but this is better?

I don't know if it's the age thing, or if I'm just naturally out of the loop, but I couldn't get into posting stuff on myspace/facebook/webmolesters or anywhere else, but I decided to start this. We'll see how long it lasts before I lose motivation. I'm guessing I'll just continuously try and write funny anecdotes and such, but they won't be funny, and they won't be continuous. If you're looking for a daily blog staple, look elsewhere, like Defective Yeti, The Sneeze, or Dooce. Tell them I sent you. I'll try and write something every once in awhile, my ineptitude at HTML can't hold me back when I have a template. Watch out.