- Is this an exchange that should take place between two adults:
F1: Your bangs make you look twelve.
F2: If you don't stop making fun of my hair I'm not going to your birthday party.
I'm inclined to say no. Especially if one of them is your significant other. I don't even want to say which one because there's no good answer. (Maybe it's both - bow chikka wa wow...No, it isn't.)
- Tiger Woods named his kid after me. Except, it's a girl. She is already better than me at every sport I play, and I imagine will have better boobs in a few weeks.
- There is no possible scenario in which the White House would consider pardoning me for any offense I commit. I am convinced if I was older and had a nickname like Scooter, things would be different. Or maybe just a nickname?
- I feel about as old as good ol' Scoot, because Jesus Shuttlesworth is 33 and plays for the Celtics now.