Friday, July 6, 2007

Coco Crisp is not gangsta

I'm about as white as you can get. So perhaps this post should be taken with a grain of salt (or pepper, I'm no racist). I have noticed a disturbing progression for a certain Red Sox outfielder though. When Coco was acquired in the winter before last season, he looked something like this:
Or maybe it was like this:The point is, it looked a whole lot more likely that he'd appear in some inane advertisement than show up as a guest on Nas' new album. Oh wait, he DID do some advertisements, didn't he? Oh yes, with his dad.
Hi, Coco. No, I do not want to pay $10 to be a member of RSN. Yes, I am sorry your father is unemployed. Anyway, he's just a smiling, happy dude, uber excited to be hawking any and everything for the Sox. Hell, he had a Hood sponsorship like 8 seconds after signing with the Sox, before he'd even played a game. This year though, he stopped talking with the media (probably because he had 36 RBI last YEAR) and stopped taking shit from anyone. Here he is telling Manny to shut up. Kind of passive aggressively though.
Of course, hair changes aren't unprecedented on the Sox. You'll remember this style from Bronson (McCarver don't call me Branden you son of a bitch) Arroyo. Arroyo was traded soon after. Reasons were not given, although this haircut along with a crappy album (seriously? Covering the Bases?) are suspected.

Coco has heated up of late, hitting 4 homers in his last 7 games played, including a grand slam last night in a 15-4 pummeling of the hapless Devil Rays, losers of their last 11 games. I am still mystified how he hits the ball out of the infield without a stride to speak of, but that's neither here nor there. It's like it's the anti-Coco showed up this season, and as a result, I am going to refer to him as Ococ. My new favorite player.

(Photos from, and I apologize for this post. It makes almost no sense.)

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