Saturday, March 10, 2007

Harold, my child the car, $2 cake

Last weekend, I made a snowman. His name is Harold. He stands about 6 feet tall. He's really nice. Here's a picture:
Harold is on the left. This past week, temperatures have been really cold, so Harold's been happy. This weekend, temperatures are supposed to get to the 40s and there may be rain. Remember Harold fondly. He's already lost an eye, and it's only 11:30 on Saturday morning. Poor cycloptic Harold. Remember that time that I gave you that silly short left arm? We laughed and laughed, and then you told me to get you a full size arm or you'd beat the shit out of me. Ha ha Harold. Here's your real arm.

Maybe it'll be for the best when he's gone.

My car, which I heart. has been a source of some consternation lately. In the last two weeks, it's needed a new thermostat, door handle, vacuum solenoid, and probably rear brakes. Then, yesterday it decided to shit oil all over the road and give me a nasty warning light that translates roughly from German into - "you're fucked". It's sitting in a church parking lot (sorry I haven't prayed lately God, perhaps an automotive miracle and we'll be back on better terms?) waiting for me to get AAA to tow it to a garage. *a single tear rolls down my cheek*

In the future, I'll try and space these out a little better, but I've a lot to say this morning. At the local grocery store, there's a magical shelf near the dairy section, where the lovely Shaw's employees (hi Cookie) place the day old bakery items on clearance. This shelf is where one can purchase a cake for around $2. I can't walk by said section without purchasing a cake if there is one there. It's akin to leaving an orphan staring out the window of an orphanage. Heartless pricks. Anyway, this was the cake I bought on Tuesday. It's funny because it's a cake, but there's the cookie monster (or some reasonable facsimile that doesn't violate copyright law) on it. Ha. see, cause the cookie monster likes cookies, to end up on a cake is funny, see? ha. hmm. Anyway, the blue frosting turned my poop green for like 4 days. No photos of that, sorry.


spotted_trinie said...

OMG Samson!! I LOLed like crazy about the cake. (Although secretly I think those bastards at Shaws might have some sort of fasle advertising issue by putting a cookie monster type character on a cake!! I mean is it cake or cookies, it really does boggle the mind!!!) But really my comment is about your discovery of what blue frosting can do (or doo doo, if you will) to the digestive tract. Story time: My undergrad institution (ahh the good old days) had the wonderful mascot of a matador (you know the bullfighter guy). Ok, on with it, the school colors are red and black, so we of course had to have a cake for one particular event and the cake was iced with black and red frosting (primarily black). The point: for some reason we got to take home more than a 1/2 sheet of this ginormous cake and let me just assure you, black frosting has the same effect on the system as blue frosting does. I definitely felt your pain. Please continue the blog, I do love it so.

PS - so sorry about Auds, maybe we should have a prayer vigil or something??

Sam said...

Thanks for your comment. I plan to do more experimentation with my GI tract later on.